It's too bad civil war uniform buttons weren't made of biodegradable material. If that were the case, fewer people would need to spend time with metal detectors.

I once heard a guy say, "Hey button your lip!". That was kinda dumb because lips don't have buttons.

If they can teach chimps to push buttons, why can't they get a guppy to clear a clogged drain?

I once tried to use buttons as currency at the grocery. I did not receive "Service with a Smile".

Some buttons, string and a hanger might be used to make a nice wind chime. But then again, I enjoy the sound of a spoon caught in the garbage disposal.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about people who whistle in public restrooms (not a button comment).